Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
