moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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