I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
