why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
