Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
