DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
