Got a toothbrush?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
