I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
