If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
