No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
