yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
this will be a night to untag.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Randomize
