Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize