I want to stick my p in your. b.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We need a shit load of segways right now
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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