Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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