We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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