NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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