New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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