forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
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I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
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Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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