Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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