Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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