I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
