winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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