Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
