i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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