If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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