its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
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They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
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I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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