Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
