I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
