I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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