the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
