We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
