There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
