At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
