Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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