Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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