Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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