I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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