We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
