Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
