Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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