if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
