they need to just BURY HIM!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
