No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
