hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
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and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
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I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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