ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I am midnight drunk by noon
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
