sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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