I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize