He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
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New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
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He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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