I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
