Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
