i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
