so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
