i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
