I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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