You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
