i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Also, beer. Big fan.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
