My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
