That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
