I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the day after is always just damage control
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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