we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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