I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
