At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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