he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
