Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
