Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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