somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize