Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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