I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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